It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
