The maid of honor just puked.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
