I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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