Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Boobs are out for the taking
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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