RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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