Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
