Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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