Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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