"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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