Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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