Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
