Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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