Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize