Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
