kristin has been a bad kristin
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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