your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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