what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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