There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
