I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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