It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
