We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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