Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
