ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
