we're blogging at a bar
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
