Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
