i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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