Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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