Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
