He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
