Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
