So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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