Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize