He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm having to shit out rocks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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