there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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