Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
