her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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