I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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