so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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