I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
