matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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