how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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