My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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