I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
