I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
