She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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