You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He better not be in your backpack
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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