i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I met the friendliest cop last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i out mim tonsoeep
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
