To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
