Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
