what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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