he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
