do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
