ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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