I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
