i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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