She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
