I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
