Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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