Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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