I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
