I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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