I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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