lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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