You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
