I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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