i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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