Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
