Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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