I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
